same day, new post

Dear readers,

I stand before you a humbled woman. Today I addressed a situation that has been rotting within me. Today I went to confront a sister because the Lord told me to. I had two things to address. The first was relatively easy. The second was heart wrenching at best.

I began to unburden my heart only to meet resistance and defense. I stood there wondering why the Lord had brought me to this place, when all the sudden I found myself confessing my jealousy of this sister. I couldn't believe the words were pouring out of my mouth. It was as if all the poison and bitterness that had welled up within me was spewing out of my being.

I found myself dumbfounded and only able to apologize. Oh how only a loving God could orchestrate a time like that. I found myself weeping and crying out to God for a cleansing. My sister listened and told me that I didn't need to be sorry. She told me that there were things about my life that she admired. I heard her.

Out of all the words she spoke though, these were the words that rang true and clear in my heart. She said that she knew I was under a lot of pressure. Oh how precious it was to me that she saw my strain and the great pressure that I was under.

It meant so much to hear her say that "she knew". So many times I feel so alone and just can't unburden myself so that I know that someone has actually heard. I knew she heard and I was so thankful.

I pray that God would continue to cleanse my heart and to speak to my heart and mind concerning his will and plan for my life.

Our assistant pastor's wife stood up today and declared that anything that we were going through right now in our lives is because it is ordained by God and we need to trust that he is planning and guiding me in the path that he has laid before me.

Signing off for now......
Trusting